me

melancholic

2011-05-04T19:39:00.002+08:00

Funny how my post today will be a continuation of what I last posted here 2 years ago.

Yeah, I'm still not over the hang-ups of my failed relationship. Sigh.

Maybe it's hormones that's causing this. Or maybe the fact that his brother's upcoming wedding is triggering something inside me. Maybe. I wouldn't know.

But one thing I know, is that I want to talk to him.

We never really had a face to face discussion about what happened between us, therefore there are some unspoken hurts and feelings. Another sigh.

I want this to end.

So I can open up to new love.

Till then...

2008-09-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

4 nights ago, I asked my ex if I am difficult to love…this question has been at the back of my mind for years now…I know I don’t need validation…but that night I just need to hear it.

These passed months have been pretty difficult…I’ve never felt so lonely. Too many questions have been swimming in my mind…will I ever find true love? If yes, until when will I wait?

My friend Ann told me last night that I should ask more for myself…never settle for less…that I will not do…I’ve been there once and will not go there again…

Come, God’s will…

Of Doing Things Differently Part II

2006-12-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

This blog disputes the one I posted last year. I now know that God sails my boat to the right and smooth course. My first stop is my trip to Europe. Yes, Europe. If I have been raving about envy of my hs friend's trip to Europe, I got my chance last November.

And above are some pics I have taken in Munich and Austria. Will post more for Amsterdam as well.

Knowing

2005-12-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

The "what ifs" were tailing me for too long and now I have the answer. There would never be acceptance on my side of the past and of what he become. I can't look at him straight in the eye because what he will only see is repulsion. I'm sorry for letting him in this situation where he is the unwanted guest. But all he asked was a time with his son and that's what I have given him. He need not worry about me coz I now have my peace. I have broken free. And I'm set to fly.

Dawning

2005-11-19T05:53:00.000+08:00

We exchanged sms.
Asked how each is faring with life.
Pleasantries were exchanged.
Bringing us to the old days.
Old memories.
Old feelings.
Sigh.

Then I asked about his daughter.
Found out the sad plight of the child.
He's planning to get the child from the mother.
Cause she's got a new family now.

It hurt.
Cause this time there was no denial that it's his.
That his daughter will get to know him the way his son won't.
Maybe that's how life is.
Daughter gets a dad. Son has his mom.

I was angry.
To the mother of the girl.
After all what happened, she just casually passed her responsibility to her own mother.
But who am I to judge.
For sure she has her own reasons.

I felt guilty.
That our children has to suffer for the selfish choices we made.

Oooh, life.

But then who said it was easy?

Of doing things differently

2005-10-22T05:25:00.000+08:00

I know I've been quiet for sometime with my bloglife. It's just that there's not much good stuff to share. I don't wanna clog up this site with my musings and grievances. I know there so many things I should be thankful for but why am I feeling gripey lately?

I know why, it just took me this long to admit it. It's because I haven't accepted yet my "life". A picture of my highschool friends touring Europe brought feelings I never knew I have. There was envy, dissatisfaction, and regret??? How come these pics triggered these feelings? because I dreamt this with them in highschool, more so in College but my life took a different course because of the choices I made. I know I'm being ungrateful in saying these things but this time I want to be honest with myself. If given the chance of turning back time, I would have done things differently.

But who said I coudn't do what they just did? They may have realized their dreams a little earlier than mine but, hey, I still have many years and chances of seeing the world! And how fun it would be to share this experience with my son.

p.s. Blogging makes me pull myself out of the pits I have in life. I guess its seeing everything written down that makes me see the difference.

2005-10-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

sunset

2005-10-05T02:03:00.000+08:00

terrain

2005-10-05T02:00:00.000+08:00

rocks in africa

Experiencing the Heart of Jesus

2005-09-03T04:26:00.000+08:00

The 45 minute commute from my house to work relieves me from the stress of the world. The night is usually cool, traffic is very light when I leave the house at 8pm. The cool breeze caressing my face makes me think of the ocean. The sky is blanketed by the stars. It is just peaceful. I'm glad I gave up the luxury of being driven to work - it made me see God in His awesome greatness.

I am on the Day One of Max Lucado's Book: Experiencing the Heart of Jesus. It is very enriching, inspiring and humbling. And for this week, here's my memory verse (written from memory):

...that you may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide, how long, how deep and how high is the love of Christ, and that you may find the love that surpasses knowledge - so that you will be filled to the measure, of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:18-19.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming days. I can't wait to know more of my Savior.

Something Beautiful

2005-07-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

by Robbie Williams

You can't manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day.
A love is getting too cynical
Passion's just physical these days
You analyze everyone you meet
But get no sign, love ain't kind
every night you admit defeat
and cry yourself blind

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified, when they lived alone

Some kind of beautiful (will come your way)

All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no no no
Forgot the time feeling petrified
When they lived alone

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This song defines my state of mind these days. I know something beautiful is coming my way.

I am beginning to know more of myself and enjoying it. There are many reasons why I should love myself more and not feel guilty about it. After all, nobody loves "ME" as I do!

Ahh, life! Too short to enjoy its bests!

2005-07-25T19:37:00.000+08:00

school boy najud

2005-07-25T19:36:00.001+08:00

school boy

2005-07-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

pray ko...

2005-07-25T19:35:00.000+08:00

ka-cute!

2005-07-25T19:32:00.000+08:00

Oriental look

2005-07-25T19:31:00.001+08:00

MuniMuni

2005-07-25T19:31:00.000+08:00

lab2x with pooh and baba

2005-07-25T19:30:00.000+08:00

haaay naku

2005-07-25T19:29:00.001+08:00

japorms

2005-07-25T19:29:00.000+08:00

dash_incredible

2005-07-25T19:28:00.001+08:00

simod

2005-07-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

ewok's eyes

2005-07-25T19:27:00.001+08:00

hehehe

2005-07-25T19:27:00.000+08:00

in focus

2005-07-25T19:25:00.001+08:00

waiting 4 momy_02

2005-07-25T19:25:00.000+08:00

waiting 4 momy_01

2005-07-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

ewok_calero_christmas04

2005-07-25T19:23:00.001+08:00

Ewok

2005-07-25T19:23:00.000+08:00

ewok in the car

2005-07-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

CHH lobby

2005-07-25T19:21:00.001+08:00

baby pa-cute

2005-07-25T19:21:00.000+08:00

candid shot

Deperate Housewives, etc.

2005-07-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

I once went to school and waited for my son and had the opportunity to sit with 2 moms. The conversation started easily. Comparisons were made of our children, sharing bloopers and laudes. But then, the talk went to husbands. Yeah, and you can see me squirming in my seat with the topic on hand. Then came pouring the 2 wives' desperation. Complaints and heartaches, anger and frustration. Being the only person not married (and I thank God for that!) I listened and gave my piece of mind. The 2 moms were a little surprised how I am so wise beyond my years. I guess I learned the hard way too early.

On a different note, I had a talk with our HR officer. It was a scheduled 1~1 session per quarter. It was a chance for me to air out some of my problems. When asked if I am efficient with work, I answered no since I am too sleepy to perform my duties 100% best. Without batting an eyelash, i told her that if another company offers the same pay i am getting now and in a regular day-shift, I will not hesitate in accepting it. My health is suffering too much with the schedule I have, as well as my social life. She recognizes the conflict between business need and personal need. She'll work it out with my Supervisor. At least, I am hopeful.

I got another maid! They are now 2 of them. 1 for Ewok and the other for the house. I will no longer be stressed out doing household chores. Yippee!!!

Lisel, my colleague in college, is leaving for Dubai this Aug. 3rd. She promised to help me out too when she's settled there just as she was helped by another collegue. Can't wait to join her there!

Pahabol: i am finding myself watch channel 44 in skycable where it shows video footages of local weddings here in Cebu. I am learning more about wedding preparation than ever. and got some ideas of my own. Pathetic.

Mommy

2005-07-07T01:53:00.000+08:00

Last Monday was my 28th birthday. Nothing much happened. Ate and I had a fight Sunday so we were too quiet for that day. Jewit made my day. She invited me to watch a movie (Batman Begins) and dinner. I had a great time - the conversation was good.

Tonight, on my way here at the office, I missed my Mommy so much. All the memories of those times she rode to work with me came flooding back. She did it for a year plus. We had fun stopping by burger joints and fastfood drive thrus. Of course, my step-dad and ewok were also with us adding more to the animated discussions and fun. Then she stopped coming when she started feeling nauseous of the drive and the enclosed space of the car (she was getting weak by this time). I had a hard time choking back the tears tonight. I don't want the driver to see me cry. It's been 11 months since she died and still everything seemed to happen just yesterday. I can still remember her voice, her smell, her hands, and her laughter. I oftentimes catch myself greeting her silently when I arrive home.
It's hard missing someone so much. And yet I am assured that she's with the Father watching over me.

For my birthday, I wished nothing. But I thanked my Mom for raising me well.

I love you Mommy.

2005-06-12T17:15:00.000+08:00

me with the panoramic view...

2005-06-12T17:11:00.000+08:00

me and ewok

2005-06-12T17:08:00.000+08:00

pa-effect...

2005-06-12T17:05:00.000+08:00

mga kiko!

2005-06-12T17:03:00.000+08:00

naa napod...

2005-06-12T17:00:00.000+08:00

feeling models!

2005-06-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

the Power Puff Girls...

2005-06-12T16:45:00.000+08:00

the gang again...

2005-06-12T16:41:00.000+08:00

The Gang...Ewok took this shot!

2005-06-12T16:38:00.000+08:00

Road to Mountain View

2005-06-12T16:16:00.000+08:00

On the way to Mountain View

Mountain View

2005-06-12T15:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a blast! The US gang (Shaoi, Lilah, Mike, Jo Ann, Jewit, Me and my son Ewok) went out for a picnic. It wasn't "that" planned. All we know is we need to go out and have fun with Nature. No movies and malls. Just plain ol' nature!

But nothing was plain nor simple. Everything was breathtaking! From the plants, to the cool breeze, up to the scenic view. The place is called Mountain View, with its name saying everything there is. We had lunch, pics taken, and more pics taken. Ewok was the official photographer. He's got good shots and angles for a 5-yo kid. =) After abusing the place, we went down to a hall for a videoke! It was soooo much fun that we all ended up rolling in our stomach (well, almost). Jewit, as always, is the "nangungunang kampeon" while me, Myk and Lai were the back-up dancers. We gave an outstanding interpretative dance to Britney Spear's: Hit Me Baby One More Time! Shaoi caught all those funny faces and dance moves we had on video. Uuugh! I've sworn all of them to confidentiality and not to post any of it over the web.

Any way, here are some of the pics. Everything here looks prim and proper. That was before all hell broke loose!

APPLE Tree

2005-06-10T01:56:00.000+08:00

"Apple Tree (the Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm,appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous; sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner."

Well, according to an email, I fell from an Apple tree. I can say some of the characteristics fits me. My officemate commented that I do have a flirtatious smile! Whoa, it's been sooo long now since I felt flirty. But I can attest the rest are true. *wink*wink.

I know I made too many blogs about Frog Prince that I can hear Kuya Perze's: "tsk, tsk, tsk". Yeah, I agree with him. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Enough with this fallacy! There are important issues to spend time and energy on, why waste them on something not real? Good thing I diverted my passion into something very important in my life. I have started a personalized Atkins diet for a week now and I can say it works for me. Reading Max Lucado's When Christ Comes jolted me into reality. He wrote that our bodies will be the same when we enter Heaven but different in some way. The same form but can move through walls (just like what Christ did when He was resurrected). And my, I want to look good when I go Home! =) And I owe it my son. I want to be there for him much longer than my 52nd year...

Work is somewhat tough because of the schedule I have - graveyard. I sleep only 4hrs a day bec my son needs me time to time. And no, I don't have a yaya. But I will have one this Sunday. I am going to fetch her from out of town. Just in time for Ewok's school this Tuesday (14th). But other than the schedule, workload is manageable. But I can see myself deep into work few weeks from now since Tech Support will be given to me to Supervise. Sigh...

Father of my son is sending me SMS. He wants to enter into my life again. Ignored them.

Better end these ramblings before I say too much...

2005-06-03T02:34:00.000+08:00

Twilight

2005-06-03T02:33:00.000+08:00

Sunset

He's back!

2005-06-03T02:24:00.000+08:00

Yes, we're back chatting again. And I can honestly say that I am glad we did. There was a lot of catching up to do but with so little time. He's been away on travel to Belgium. I envy him, travelling to different places but he keeps on telling me it's not that fun. It's practically living out of the suitcase. Yeah, I understand.

Sent him 2 pics of the sunset I took - and he liked it! Will post in awhile...

When Christ Comes

2005-05-28T02:26:00.000+08:00

You are in your car driing home. Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know. So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little League baseball game accross the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds.
And what they see, and what you see, has never before been seen.

As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None. From whence come the light begins to tumble river of color - spiking crystals of every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flows is an endless fleet of angels. They pass thru the curtains one myriad at a time, until they occupy every squre inch of the sky. North. South. East. West. Thousands of silver wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting, "Holy, holy, holy."

The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship. Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the trimphant triplet: "Holy, holy, holy." Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You don't know why you say the words, but you know you must.

Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns - and there He is. Jesus. Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King. He is atop of a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration: "I am the Alpha and the Omega."

The angels bow their heads. The elders remove their crowns. And before you is figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know: Nothing else matters.Forget stock markets and school reports. Sales meetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy. All that mattered, matters no more, for Christ has come...

Help, anyone?

2005-05-16T20:14:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. Had a heavy weekend. Didn't have the time to really rest. And my househelp just left today leaving me helpless (sigh) with the chores. And my main prob is my son. The part time driver is taking care of him now and this cannot go on. Need to find another househelp sooner.

I am moving to night shift next week to make things easier for my son. But I know it's tough: attend to him daytime and work nightime...

Help, anyone?

What Can I do?

2005-05-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

I can see him in sametime. He's in "away" mode. He hasn't buzzed me since he came in. I am not going to either. I know, I know. I'm the only one who knows that there's an issue with us. In fact the only one who knows there is an US! Pathetic!

I am keeping my cool. I will not entertain any wishful thinking. I will take everything as it is - plain and simple.

Saying this, I can relate to this song I am playing:

What Can I Do? - The Corrs

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..

Idiot Box

2005-05-12T20:15:00.000+08:00

I'm on lunch break, listening to music over the web. I called my son on the phone to check on him and my sister answered. She hurriedly said bye coz she's watching TV. My, that reminded me of story where the idiot box stole a boy's bestfriend. And it's happening to my sis! She subscribed for cable connection and bought a TV set for her room. And since then, I rarely see her out of her room! Although I admit we (my son and I) sometimes sit with her. She has not gone out of the house for exactly 3 weeks now. No malls, no movies. Just work and Church. And now, this IDIOT box is slowly taking my son away. I have a hard time competing with Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, and Disney Channel! And to think I only have 4 hrs of his waking hours since I work the swing shift and I hardly talk to him! Now, I am wondering how could I take him away from TV now that it's almost school time? Sigh...And I am beginning to succumb to its temptation...

2005-05-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

us...now...

2005-05-11T21:08:00.000+08:00

My MSU tropa =)

2005-05-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

The guys in my life =)

2005-05-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

Asthma...a silent disorder. I completely forgot how a bout of asthma felt like. It's been years since I had this. What I thought was a simple cough led to a complicated case. I was wheezing Monday and called in sick for work. Tuesday, I saw the doc. And it was found out my BP was so high. And who wouldn't be? I was waiting for my turn at the waiting area with no aircondition. And I just came from outside and was sweltering from heat. Told the doc it's bec of the heat. Antibiotics were prescribed for the cough. Nothing more. Good thing I went to work for half day and had my nebulization there. It eased off the wheezing.

Just received a call from a colleague in MSU, asking me if Tintan and I are back together. She saw in friendster pics of him and my son, and some barkada so happy together. Now what, can't we be happy in seeing each other and not be a couple? I was glad seeing my MSU barkadas, and was happy for the time my son spent with his dad. Sigh, why can't life be simple?

About Frog Prince, he's on travel. Haven't heard from him since Sat. Haven't texted him too. I deleted his number and all of his messages. It's better this way. My prob now is how to block him in internal IM.

Gotta go! I have to nebulize...

Loving and Learning

2005-05-08T13:14:00.000+08:00

I came all the way from the house to this internet cafe because I need to blog. I have tried writing it down but then I can't start. I guess computer is into me already.

Last night was a tough night. Cough fits cannot seem to stop. I had a sleepless night. But not entirely because of the cough...it's also because of Frog Prince.

He's got a GIRLFRIEND.

It came out too casualy from him thru text. I sent a message telling him of my day (as I usually do). Told him the movie "Wedding Date" is not a good thing to watch. Then I fell asleep.

The coughing woke me and I checked the time in my cellfone. There was a message. And it was from him. And it goes something like this:
"...I pulled up a desk together for my girlfriend, so she can study..."

Then I went: WHAT?

Then all these questions crept from me. I didn't dare ask.
Sigh....Yeah, a big SIGH....

We got a long pretty well Friday night. He shared some of his interests like music. And he confessed that he feels bad when he keeps on disappearing in chat bec of travel. He doesn't like to "ignore" me. Then this...tsk, tsk, tsk. Like a pin bursting a bubble. My bubble.

Well, I can never really be mad. As if he like me or anything more than a friend. He does not. That's the sad truth. I guess I was too caught up with finding my own guy this time that I failed to check the facts. Another lesson to learn. Another experience to share.

But, LOVING is too good to be stained by this experience. =) I shall not be discouraged as I know, there is always a blessing for those who patiently wait. =)

2005-05-06T20:16:00.000+08:00

then him...

2005-05-06T20:15:00.001+08:00

then family pics...

2005-05-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

then childhood pics...that's him carried by the panda

2005-05-06T20:14:00.000+08:00

it all started with this...

Frog Prince

2005-05-06T19:39:00.000+08:00

...he calls me Dorky, i call him Poppy.
...we swap sms, we chat
...he gave me pics of gargoyles, i gave him pics of Mactan bridge
...we swapped childhood pics, i look cute, he does, too
...we swapped pics of cubicles to find out whose cube is the messiest
...i gave him songs from MYMP, he gave me Rio and Paris music
...i dream of living in UK, he likes Cebu bec of fastfood express deliveries
...i gave me a pic, i'd rather not
...he is single, i am a single mother
...he doesn't know, i didn't tell
...i am his friend,we are friends
...and I'm thankful for it =)

Penny for a small talk, anyone?

2005-04-21T12:09:00.000+08:00

Today marks the most challenging day of my stay here in Teradyne. Today, I sacked an employee. After weeks of being stretched to my limits and munching chocolates, decision was finally made. Decision came from the whole Management team, not just from me but the burden of investigation, small meetings with the employee rested on me. The meeting went well, discussion was handled by my boss, who, delivered the talk very smoothly. The employee understood perfectly. I was asked if there is something I wish to say to the agent, all I can manage to say is none as my eyes were filling up fast and a big lump of tears is already in my throat.

You see, it is very difficult to terminate someone when you know that his family only depends on this job. I know his family, his daughter. And as a provider, I know how tough it is going home to your wife with the sad news. I cried after he said thanks and bid goodbye. He even asked if it is ok if he will not say goodbye to the people in the office, and I said it is ok if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I needed to talk to someone. I started chatting with Peter but he seem busy. I hate bugging him in a middle of a busy day.

Penny for a small talk, anyone?

Female and living the life!

2005-04-01T17:09:00.000+08:00

...I am suffering from one of the commonest reasons why ladies file sick leaves - dysmenorrhea! Uurrgh, I feel like I'm in labor! This time of the month makes me reminisce that fateful January 22, 2000 when I gave birth to my dearest ewok. Although his coming to the world was a moment to rejoice but the labor pains were untolerable (pero CS ko ha!). And it feels like that now. But I am not entirely complaining. With my condition (Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome), I should be thankful for it.

...the office is too quiet since 2 agents are on leave. Lite jazz is on my music. Cool.

...argao trip was ok. we never rode the boat (as there was none!). =( Ewok had fun too. It was the first time I saw him literally sat down with the water at waist high. I guess it's bec of the cool and clean water. It was really good! Water was so clear as a pool and no floating leaves were to be seen anywhere. Of course, with this inviting water, i didn't hesitate to have a dip. I'll post some pics soon.

...Ewok got the Best in Arts award. Recognition day is tomorrow. Gotta look good. =)

...Jhed went home and Ann is on day-off and Cheryl is on leave. Sigh...there's only me and Kathy. I am doing this blog on my breaktime. Got to unwind a little bit. Then back to Jan's evaluation...when will this end???

...CC anniv on sunday. Hope i will have fun. Can't swim though bec of ...

gotta run!

bored at home

2005-03-26T01:45:00.000+08:00

....I know, I shouldn't feel bored at this time of year. It's the Lent! But i am. Is this a sign that I am a workaholic? Dennis said I need to have a hobby aside from work and ewok. But what? Cross stitch? Nah, too domesticated. I want adventure. I like travel. If I could only afford, I should have been on my way to some of the places on my list. Sigh...

...but tomorrow, we are going to Argao to visit Mommy's aunt (our closest relative ever here in Cebu). Stay for a night and on Sunday, go to the beach in Argao! they say beach is good out there. My cousin owns a big pumpboat so we will do some island hopping too. but I am not a swimmer so I'd better think twice.

...cdo trip is on april 8th. ewok said he is afraid of taking the boat. he is afraid of drowning. now that's the influence of movies. another problem is ewok might refuse to walk down the aisle (at beb's wedding) as the Bible bearer. He is a shy kid. Now that means I have to walk with him? With my bulk? Nah, I'll let his dad accompany him.

...yeah, another meeting with the dad. Hope all will be ok. I want to discuss with him is 'responsibilities' as a father to ewok. he cannot just go on with his life pretending that ewok does not exist!

...cdo trip is also the time to reunite with my college buddies: en-en, jinkee and jerlie. we will all meet in cdo (timoga plan is erased) since jerlie avoids travelling with her condition (5 mos on the way). My, there's only Jinkee left with singlehood! Hah! As if I am married. I am still half-single though. Hehehe.

...haven't spoken to my frog prince. he is busy with travel. we tried catching up last week but I was soo busy that I totally forgot he was still in sametime! bad leeza.

i'b better go off now. my company will kill me calling from home. =)

Tinolang Manok

2005-03-24T11:38:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, my sister and I had a HUGE fight. A shouting match really and all because of "tinolang manok". Yes, a petty reason that ended in a cat-fight (verbally). She wants to eat "tinolang manok" but since we do not have the "rekados", the maid cooked "adobong manok" instead. She took her seat at the dining table and when she saw the viand, got up and looked into the ref (maybe she was looking for the veggies?). Out came this words: "Wala diay namercado og tarong Leeza?". Here I was, lounging on the settee, watching this dance contest show. Hearing that, my steam blew off. All the sentiments I had about the managing the house, marketing, paying the bills (squeezing them all with work and ewok) poured out. Voices were raised, angry words were exchanged. She then shouted, "I am moving out - bringing all my stuff!" I retorted: "Go on, I don't care. You think I cannot live without you?". Huh!

Then 2 days of cold war. 2 days of not seeing each other and text messages. I admit it was too heavy for me. I mean, she and ewok are all I have in this life. Losing mom was hard and now this cold war with Ate? I prayed for a humble heart but I guess the stubborn in me prevailed. I was thinking of sending her an e-card but knowing that her email will just reject it, I kept my silence. Then she texted me yesterday. Telling me that she is going to Bohol for the Holy week and be back on Sunday. Plans of going to Argao (Mama Lelang) was suddenly threatened. It's no fun going there without her. But, as promised, me, ewok, yaya and papoo will still go on Friday back on Sunday. Going to the beach is the highlight of this trip, not discounting the "bonding" we will all experience. Ewok will have fun too, with all the cousins he can play with. My God, my son is really bored to tears at the house. =(

From there on, the ice slowly melted. I can say we are ok now. She's now in Bohol, catching up with friends, me at work, wrapping things up for the long Holidays.

All I can say is this: I can better live life without enemies. After all, we all need our rest, right? Hehe.

2005-03-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

merlion...

2005-03-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

Singapore!

2005-03-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

Missing Home

2005-03-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

Nothing compares to HOME. Although mine is not as good and clean as Singapore, it's good to be back. Four days in Regent Hotel, good food (no more Indonesian food puhlease!), and right hand drive made me realized nothing can beat Cebu. Home is where the heart is, so they say.

It was purely business travel. We had a quick city tour but that was just it. The rest of the nights were spent having dinner with the bosses. The days were also spent in class, visit to warehouse, and to meetings. Phew! But I had a good time though. Company was good. =) We all had our share of bloopers. Hehehe. Will post some pics soon.

As to my frog prince, I chatted with him today, after 2 weeks of chat abstinence. We exchanged sms once in a while but it was never the same. It was nice talking to him again. He felt the same way. I'm looking forward tomorrow as he said he'll buzz me. Now, why am I looking forward to this special 'moments' with him? Hmmm....

You might also be wondering why 'frog prince'? 'cause he saved a frog once while driving...a gentle soul...

A little bit...

2005-02-21T18:02:00.000+08:00

I sent this song to a good friend, not really caring what the lyrics say. Felt something is amiss with my day today despite the loads of work I have, and the preparation I am making for my trip to Singapore tomorrow, so tried to listen to music to relax. Then this song played "A little bit" from MYMP. Listening to this song, I realized that I do miss him. I get "a little bit of crazy, a little bit of a fool. A little bit of lonely. A little bit of all. Oh, I need a cure. Just a little bit of you. And I will fall..."

To admit this is courage on my part. Tried to stop it but it keeps on slipping out. Have not heard from him for a week now. I'm trying sooo hard not to send him sms. Don't know until when I can contain the urge to do so.

Haven't felt this for years.

Hope he thinks of me too...

2005-02-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

simply me

Starting Up

2005-02-18T20:38:00.000+08:00

Finally, having my own blog spot at this site. I'm at work but doing nothing much. Who can work efficiently with just 2 hours of sleep? Coffee may help but never was a coffee lover. Sitting here idly, surfing the net, when the idea of signing up here came up. At least, something is worth my stay here at the office. =)

I'm bound for Singapore next week for a class. First time to travel outside the country. First time to be away from my lalab ewok. You should meet him. He's very lovable, not discounting the fact that he's very handsome. =)

Arrgh, am bored! Help!